The Men Team! (Repost in anticipation of an addition to the storyline)
It was a dark and stormy day in Abigail when a freak accident occurred. A freak on the street fell on another freak, causing utter chaos... But back to my story....
A small pawn shop on Tob Rd. was in the middle of being heisted, when suddenly a flash of lighting hit the owner of the establishment making an easy break for the hardened, stone cold, sugar addict. He grabbed all he could and ran for the door. When he reached the door, he stopped and looked at the shopkeeper and laughed at how fate had lent him a hand for once. Then, he bolted out the door and ran off into the shadows and down the street.
Darkness filled the shop, and the man lay still on the floor. He had not thought that this would be the way his life would end. He at least wanted to die in his own bed or something, not on some sticky floor in this heck hole. But then again, who said things are going to turn out the way you want them to?
He looked on at all of the tools that the crook had left behind. Sadly, some of them were his very own tools. He reflected on how they had helped him produce such 'manly projects', like his first racecar, and the deck around his trailer. "Yes... those are the things I'm gonna' miss," he thought as things began to grow darker.
Suddenly, something fell on his face. He tried to move, but still couldn't. Another flash of lightning hit him, and he thought, "This is just not my day. I knew I should have paid attention to my horoscope this morning." The flash of lightning also revealed that, what had landed on his head was his old welding hood. Ahhh... the memories. He was a real manly man in his day. "If only I could have one more chance," he thought as he lay there helplessly.
Just then, another bolt of lightning hit him. This one was so big though, that it sent the whole building toppling down around him. Being the part of town it is... not even the fire department would show their faces down there to help out until morning. The fire was small, so they let the rain take care of it. Unfortunately, no one ever thought of the poor shopkeeper inside.
Across town, at another pawnshop, the little wimpy guy with the gun, who had just robbed the other shopkeeper, was selling the things he'd stolen. He just kept thinking of all the sugar candies he could get. He'd grown dependant on their energy, as he lacked the physical strength to properly exercise.
"Here ya go! Here's twenty... forty.... sixty... eighty dollars."
"Eighty bucks?!" the little wimp cried out. "All of that stuff and you just give me eighty bucks! It's got to be worth more than that!" he yells, slamming his fist on the counter.
The pawnbroker looks down at the wimp’s fist, then back up into his eyes, and says, "All you brought me was four watches and a couple necklaces, what else do you expect?"
"But that one's gold!!!"
"Yup. Sure is... that's why I gave ya eighty dollars. That one's probably worth about seventy some dollars, and the rest I'll be lucky ta get a couple bucks for each one."
"This is a lousy shop!"
"Nope... just a lousy economy lately. It's all about supply and demand." the pawnbroker says pulling a gun out from under the counter. "I supplied you with eighty dollars, an' now I demand you leave before this gets messy."
Staring down the barrel of a 45. Wessith n' Smien is enough to make the weak man nearly faint. Collecting himself in a hurry, he snags the eighty dollars and runs out in the street. Rounding a corner, he runs into a big man who's dressed nicely and scuffs the man's shoe. The man grabs this geek by the collar and lifts him up to look him in the eyes. Something out of the corner of his eye catches his attention; he sees the eighty bucks and takes it, tossing the weak man to the ground. Just as the bigger man rounds the corner and disappears, a lightning bolt hits this pathetic excuse for a man, leaving him motionless in the alley.
"This is just like I thought I'd die... minus the lightning...” the man thinks as things begin to get blurry. A rag doll falls from a dumpster in which the lightning blast had landed him near. It reminds him of the one his mother had given him when he was a child. Oh how he longed for those days. His mother had always taken care of him. In fact, she'll probably have the cops out looking for him within the hour, "..But by then I'll be dead." He thinks to himself, "If only I could have just one more chance to do things over...."
Suddenly, but not surprising to him, another blast of lightning hits him and throws him and the doll through the dumpster.
The next morning, the rubble of the pawnshop is still smoldering, but no one's worried. The local kids and gangs are searching the bricks for anything that might be worth salvaging. One kid sees a welding helmet and goes to grab it, but it is hooked onto something. He lifts it on its axis and jumps back as a man's face is revealed beneath it.
A couple other kids come over to look at it. Then, to their amazement, the man's eyes open. The children scramble and fall over one another as they try to run away. Before they get five feet though, the man emerges from the rubble and walks out to the street. His arms are stronger than before, along with the rest of his frame. Cables and tools are all over his body, sort of just stuck there by some unknown force. He has no recollection of what happened; only that it almost cost him his life. He turns to the kids, smiles, and walks off down the street. As he passes a nearby hair beauty boutique, the women comment on how 'manly' he looks.... along with a few other comments not able to be mentioned here. (Sorry people.)
Back across town, behind the dumpster, something moving gets the attention of a rat. It circles around hoping for fresh meat, and finds a skinny man on death's doorstep. Thinking it has an easy meal, it approaches fearlessly, but the man touches the rat and the rat grows instantly weak. In opposite... the man gets enough strength to get out of the trash pile he's in. He walks out of the alley and onto the street. There people laugh at him because he has such a weak physique.... and he's carrying a rag doll. "Hey girly man!" some mean man yells as he drives by.
These two men, both affected by the storm the night before run into each other on the street as if guided by some force. They exchange uncertain looks. Neither remembers the past, only the present. Suddenly, a gunshot calls their attention to a nearby pawnshop. The two men run for it's door and go inside without even thinking. There, a couple teenagers are holding up the shopkeeper at gunpoint. The teenagers see these strange men enter and they ask, "Who do you think you are?" turning one of their guns on them.
The tall man reflects on the remarks he heard walking down the street and replies, "I am Burly Man!"
The weak man also reflects and chimes in with a squeaky voice, "And I am Girly Man! Stop this instant what you are doing!"
The two teens nearly die laughing at Girly Man's name, but what really gets their attention is Burly Man. A hammer flies off his arm and knocks the guns from their hands. Then, Girly Man runs up and touches one of them, absorbing his strength, and then hits the other kid with his rag doll, knocking him out as well. Feeling good about what they accomplished, these two opposites walk off together into the street. Burly Man and Girly Man- with his Rag Doll of Justice!
Somewhere in Abigail... a young child is waking his parents at the oddest hour of the night, both irritating and frustrating them. But again... this has nothing to do with what's taking place across town in my story....
Alone in his apartment is one Mr. Graham Cracker. He has been alone in this apartment complex for five years without any neighbors. A year after he moved into the building, the rest of the tenants moved out. This would have to do with some big shot builder who wanted to build a strip mall there; but just after he'd bought everyone out (with the exception of Mr. Cracker), his business went bankrupt and he sold the building to some bum on 50th St. for a can of soup. Of course, not believing the distrodden man, the bum used the deed for a napkin one night and threw it away. Thus leaving Graham a lone man in a huge apartment building... rent-free!!! That's why he never moved.
The down side to being alone in a huge building all by yourself, is that an imagination untamed can accidentally be loosed. And thus was the fate of Graham. Let me explain how his 'new-life' began…
One day, Graham discovered that he'd missed an hour of one of his favorite TV shows. On the television, instead, was some British comedy that he absolutely hated. Confused, he changed the channel back to his favorite station he was previously watching. Just then, his left hand took the remote control out of his right hand and changed it back. Now to be honest, this scared the begeebers out of Graham. He jumped out of his chair, but the left side of his body insisted on sitting back down. Eventually, he gave in and sat down. Then, he said to himself, in a sort of British accent, "That's much better ol' sport. I just want to watch the rest of the show on the tellie, and the rest of the evening is yours to do with as you wish." Pausing in disbelief, he looked around the room to see if anything was leaking gas or something else toxic. Then he said to himself as his head was forcefully turned back to the TV, "Now see here Graham, I've let you be in charge long enough. I'm just asking for the next fifteen minutes is all, so relax please and let me finish my show!"
Unsure of what was going on, Graham decided to respond. "Who's there?" he asked himself.
Turning his head to one side, as if trying to face himself, he responded, "James, of course. Who else would it be?" Then he turned his head back to the TV again.
"Where are you?" Graham asked himself timidly.
"I'm in this beast you choose to call a chair you dim-wit! Now quit interrupting my show! This is the best part!" Shocked and surprised, Graham sat back in his chair and watched the rest of the show.
Later on, after many nights in a sort of therapy involving himself and his other personality, James, he came to the realization that he was not alone anymore. In fact, night after night he discovered that below the two dominant personalities there were a plethora of other personalities waiting to come forth; each one with their own strengths and weaknesses. Some were incredibly strong- superhuman- yet lacked the mental prowess to 'take over' unless James or Graham yielded to their pleas.
After some debate with his selves, they all unanimously agreed with himself that they need to use his personalities for good. Though a couple bad attitudes did exist, they too agreed, semi-reluctantly. And thus, MP Man was born! By day, he's a janitor at a grade school, but at night, criminals everywhere fear the supreme powers of MP Man! Heck... even Graham is afraid of some of their powers.
The police picked up burly Man and Girly Man, shortly after their battle with those two punks in the pawnshop. Though he had gained super powers, Girly man was easily recognized by the police and, together with Burly Man, they were hauled in. Both heroes, somehow empowered with a deep sense of justice, went along willingly.
"What'd they say my name was again?" Girly Man asked Burly Man in his weak sounding voice as they drove through the streets in the back of the cop car.
"I think they said it was Ralph or something..." Burly man grumbled out with his deep bass voice.
"Oh yeah... Ralph." Girly man repeats, kind of disappointedly. "Are you sure it wasn't 'Bruce' or 'Leo' or something stronger sounding like, 'Arnold'... Ya know... Something cool?"
Looking at Girly Man with an expression of compassion, Burly Man sadly repeats, "Sorry... They said you was Ralph."
"Oh..." Girly Man looks down rather disappointed at his folded arms, which hold his rag doll. "Can we not let that out... you know... that my name's Ralph?" he pleads.
"Sure thing, Girly Man" he responds and pats his new friend's shoulder. Just then, the car comes to a stop. The two heroes look up kind of surprised to see they weren't at the police station. Instead, there was a very worried looking mother figure outside the car looking very excited to see the passengers. The policemen let the two out of the car and drive away.
"Oh!! Where have you been my little Ralphie-pooh?! Mama's been worried about you!" she says pinching his cheek. "And who's your friend Ralphie?" she asks as she adjusts her bathrobe and straightens her curlers.
"Uh... his name is... uh..."
"They call me... Url... yeah, Url."
"Well Url, come on in and make yourself at home!" she says leading the way into the old house in the middle of this big city. Surprisingly, it is one of a very few to still have a real back yard in it. Ralph, uh, I mean: Girly Man and Burly Man go out back and they stop sudden in their tracks. They both look at each other and grin when they see what is in Girly Man’s back yard.
"Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Burly Man asks Girly Man.
"If you're thinkin' HQ for a crime fighting team... You betcha buddy!" They give a big high five and then turn their gaze to their future head quarters; Ralph's double-decked bus, which was obviously converted into a mobile party wagon, but has long since run down. "Do ya think you can fix it?" he asks.
"Do I think?! Heck! That’s a piece of cake!" Burly Man says as tools come off of his body and start going to work by themselves. In a matter of about fifteen minutes, the double-decked bus (from England) is shiny and new looking with some sophisticated additions and a new paint job. "Hope you don't mind the modifications." Burly man says as the last tool attaches itself back to his body.
In awe... Girly man stares, then finally answers, "...no man... not at all..."
"You don't mind the color scheme or the logo do you?"
"No... they're great. And that's awesome 'TMT'... what's that stand for?"
"The Men Team…” Burly Man sort of shuffles around shyly. “I'm sorry… I'm not very creative with names."
"No... That's perfect!" Girly Man admits.
And thus The Men Team's first members became united in a cool look!
Everywhere he went people would always say, "Now there goes a real man's man. You know... the type of guy they would stick their necks out for." ...And that they did. Karl Hannigan had a real charisma about him that defied most that knew him. Over time though... Karl realized there was more to life than being the kind of guy other guys looked up to. He tried to do bad things so he could step out of the spotlight for a while, but they still thought he was cool... the guys around him that is. Karl never really had much luck with the ladies. So, after he was last dumped (a few days ago), Karl put aside his days as a bus boy at National House of Waffles and set out to make a name for him self no matter what it took!
Across town, Burly Man and Girly Man just finished eating lunch. Girly Man's mother wipes off his cheek and pinches it. "Aww... My little Ralphie is soo cute he is!"
"Ma!!! Not in front of Url!!" he says pushing away her hand.
"Oh, okay Ralphie... Run along now and play!" She says, picking up their plates and heading to the sink. She is in her early fifties and she still looks like she's IN the fifties.
"Come on Ralph." Burly Man says as he gets up from the table and pushes in his chair. "Let's see if there's anything on the scanner.”
"Sounds cool!" Girly Man says as the two of them head toward their bus. It looks like a vamped up double-decked bus to others, but to these two... it is the headquarters of: THE MEN TEAM!!!
They go inside, and already they hear their police scanner buzzing. They want to keep a low profile for now, so they listen for things reported in areas where the police won't go: to the slums of Abigail. Suddenly, they hear of a grocery store on the south side being held up by crazed druggies. The police are asked if anyone cares to respond, but every one of them says the same thing on every other cop’s mind, "Are you nuts?!! I could get killed in there, even if I had a swat team with me for backup!"
"That's our cue!" Burly Man says, climbing into the driver's seat.
"Are you sure that it's safe? I mean... it sounds pretty rough. Shouldn't we let the SHG (Super Human Guys) or someone else take care of this?" Girly Man pleads.
"If we wait for them to hear about it, those people could be dead! Besides... it's our time to make a name for ourselves. Don't you want that 'Ralphie'?" Burly Man asks in a demeaning tone.
"Yes, I want to make a name for myself, but I don't want it in the obituaries! Besides... we've never drove this bus. How do you know it'll run?" Girly Man squeaks.
Burly Man reaches for the key and starts it right up. Shifting it into gear, he turns to Girly Man and says, "'Cuz I built it!" The two new heroes speed off down the road.
Mr. Graham Cracker, noticing that his other personalities have much larger appetites than he, decided to go to the corner store to pick up some munchies. With James controlling one half of his body, he carries on a great discussion about how he could make a name for his selves. Just then, he sees a bunch of bikers kicking around an old lady's purse in front of his favorite convenience store. The old lady struggles to get it from them, but they keep it just out of her reach. Reaching into his pocket, Graham pulls out a small mask, much like that of some dude named Sorro, and puts it on.
"See here, ol' chaps!!" his personality known as James yells out. "Stop this at once!"
He stops in front of the three bikers, and Graham begins to argue with himself, "What was that?! 'See here ol' chaps!'? That's not a way to approach bad guys!"
Turning his head to the other direction, he asks himself, "Prithee... what would you say instead?"
"I'd say," turning to look at the confused bikers and an even more confused old lady, "Halt evildoers! We are MP Man! You are no match for us, so I'd hit the road if I were you!" The bikers looked at each other a little shocked.
Turning his head to one side again, he asks himself in a tone of disbelief, "'I'd hit the road if I were you'? Oh, bother! Where did that come from?"
"I don't know... I was just going with the moment!"
"Now look at them! They have gone completely dumbfounded." Turning back to the bikers MP Man says, "Excuse me sir. Would you mind settling this dispute? Which was the better call?"
The bikers look at on another in shock. Each one of them reaches into their pockets at the same time and pulls out what drugs they have on them. Throwing them to the ground, one biker says what they are all thinking: "I quit man!"
"Yeah... My ma said this stuff would rot my brain!” Another biker adds in. “I never thought I'd see the day!" Then, the granny picks up her purse and blinks a little in disbelief as the bikers get on their bikes and take off. Looking down at the drugs, then back at MP Man, she rubs her eyes, looks again, then reaches in her purse and drops a bag of dope an the ground.
"I'd better quit too!" she says, walking off, holding her head and muttering to herself.
"Well... That was easy." James says with a grin on his side of his face.
"Easy for you to say! If anyone recognizes me... I'll be the laughing stock of the whole neighborhood!” Graham complains to his internal counterpart. Suddenly, a gun goes off in the grocery store. "It's action time!" he yells and runs into the store.
The bikers left behind a friend. Inside the store, a lone man decided to hold up the store. "Gimme all da dough or someone gets hurt!" he yells at the store manager.
"Halt evildoer! We are MP Man!" James yells as he runs through the doors and into the small store. The biker shoots at MP Man, but he ducks behind some creamed corn.
"I think it's time to let Speedy play. What do you think James?" Graham asks himself.
Turning his head to one side James answers, "I'd say it's a right good idea! But we'll also need to get Butch out to muscle the brute."
"Sounds like a plan!" He says, turning his head the other way.
A shopper nearby looks at MP Man in utter disbelief, but what shocks him even more, is when in a flash MP Man disappears leaving a blurry action trail behind him. MP Man races across the floor and clotheslines the biker at about 50 MPH, knocking him over and out cold. The shotgun flies into the air, and MP Man catches it when he comes to a stop.
"Wow... I'm impressed! We brought in Butch’s strength just in time!" Graham says excitedly.
"Good show ol' chaps! Here's one for the team!" MP Man high-fives himself, which looks like an overhead clap to everyone else.
He walks out of the store in a bit of a cheery mood, leaving both customers and store employees in a state of utter confusion. "Who was that masked man who talks to himself?" MP Man hears as he walks away. As he walks out the door, he hears someone else ask, "I wonder what MP stands for?"
A big Green and red double-decked bus screeches to a halt in front of MP Man as he starts away from the store. Two men jump out of it and the bigger of the two says, "Don't worry! We're here to help! Is everyone all right?"
Looking at this weird duo MP asks, "Who are you?"
"We are..." Burly Man begins.
“The Men Team!" Girly Man squeaks out.
"We heard about the bikers on the scanner and came to rescue you all!" Burly Man continues, striking a brave pose.
"We already did that." MP Man says. "But uh... are you looking for more members for your team?"
Burly Man pokes his head in the door and sees the unconscious biker. He goes in and wraps the shotgun around the biker's wrists and then goes back outside. "It's all clear in there."
Girly Man looks at MP Man and back at the store. Shrugging his shoulders, he looks back at MP Man and answers, "Sure, why not? Come on in! Wait 'til you see what we have in here! You'd be surprised at what you can fit on one of these old British buses!"
The three heroes ride off across town to Girly Man's house. And…
Not much farther across town..... The three bikers report to their boss…
"What do you mean you were 'confused’, so ‘you ran away'?!!!" A very slick looking character asks very irritated.
"But Boss! Da guy was nuts I tell ya!" One biker pleads.
"Nuts shmuts! I want some money! Now go get it, and I don't care how you do it. Just get it for me or you're no longer on my 'cool list'. You got me?"
"We sure do Man's Man!" The three bikers say as they run out of the room fighting over who will bring back the most loot.
Will The Men Team be able to handle the awesome powers of persuasion that Man’s Man controls? Will Abigail receive her new superheroes with enthusiasm? And when will Girly Man get to use his Rag Doll of Justice? Tune in next time for the further adventures of….
